Thinus Ferreira
Erin Japhta (22), a marketing student in Cape Town, got dumped in Friday night's episode of Love Island South Africa on M-Net (DStv 101) after both she and Rochelle van Vuuren were left without men after the latest recoupling.
In this interview, Erin reflects back on her stay in the villa and how she tried to stay out of the gossip and drama, how rejection is a big thing for her, and how she now feels that she should maybe have taken bigger risks.
Erin opens up about who she'll remain friends with, what she has learnt from her experience, why she chose That white jacket to walk out of the villa, how the experience was different from what she expected it would be, and how she kept herself centred in the social melee that is Love Island SA.
The white jacket that you wore when you walked out of the villa after you and Rochelle got dumped, is that something that the show gave you or is it your own?
Erin Japhta: There's a funny story behind that jacket, actually.
It's my own, I bought it last-minute before going on Love Island SA and I knew that that was going to be my secret outfit that I was going to wear if something happens whether it's someone stealing my man or just any big event.
Somehow I had the thought of "Girl, you need to wear this outfit tonight, you need to straighten your hair". And I knew it was a boss outfit. So I thought that whether I'm leaving or not, or if I am leaving, I'm leaving with a bang and looking good. So that I had in my back pocket.
How was this experience of Love Island SA different from what you expected it would be?
Erin Japhta: Everything. Everything I expected went out the window.
I think coming in, you can't have expectations, and I definitely thought that my journey would be some kind of linear way. I thought I was going to find someone, find love and live happily ever after. And that wasn't the case.
There were a lot of instances that went against what I thought would happen.
Getting rejected was a big thing for me and in the real world, I don't deal with rejection that well so I've learnt a lot from that and I just took the lesson that you can't control things. The minute I accepted that I grew a lot.
I took every battle to the better of my ability and I learnt and took a positive stance with it and I started growing that way instead of having an expectation that everything was going to be sunshine and rainbows that I thought it would be.
Anything that you think you could have done differently as you reflect back?
Erin Japhta: I don't regret anything.
Who I am today has been shaped by all of the mistakes that I've made but I definitely wish that I had reacted to some situations differently. I wish I would have thought more before reacting.
And I also think about taking more risks - I wish I didn't stick to my "loyalty guns". In the outside world I'm a very one-man kind of girl and I think I brought that mentality into the villa and you can't have that.
You have to explore and you have to see what the best connection is and I definitely don't think I did that. I think there was something that could have happened with Xavier and I think I thought: "No, Asad - he is the man".
I definitely wish that I would have invested more that way and would have immersed myself more in the Love Island mentality instead of how it works in the real outside world mentality, for sure.
How do you navigate or "escape" when you are around people 24/7 in a villa like Love Island SA? How would you explain the pressure of constantly having to be "on"?
Erin Japhta: Firstly, I'm a big introvert. I would say I'm more an introvert than an extrovert - I gain energy by being with myself.
Going in, I definitely found myself just running on adrenalin. I thought: "Girl, this is fun, let's chat to everyone and see what the deal is". Then, as time went on, I realised that my social battery was getting pretty low.
You just have to find these little moments during the day to be by yourself, taking a break - centring myself and being present. Just finding time for myself was important - whether laying out tanning, or just before bed, and even journaling. I journaled once that really centred myself.
I also think it helps to have your one person that is your go-to person, that you can trust, and with whom you can vent and just be your true, authentic self with is super important. It's about finding that little piece of home and then I knew I was fine.
It didn't get too much, definitely not - but the kind of toxic, gossip, drama bit of things definitely wasn't me and I just tried to stay out of all that and it definitely kept me sane.
I knew that if I had to delve into all of that, my mental health would be out of the window and that also wasn't me, so I definitely stayed true to myself and I'm happy with how I dealt with everything.
Just before your exit, you said that "I've gone through a lot of hurt and a lot of pain". What did you mean?
Erin Japhta: I think the big one thing was the ending of the Asad couple-relationship. I think it took a big toll on me because I wasn't prepared for it ending.
I didn't think it would end so abruptly and he was just very stern about it. I could see what he wanted and I wasn't used to that.
It hurt a lot and I saw it as a growing experience as well as a self-development moment for me to just see what I can do with this pain. A big word that came into my mind was "growing pain" - you grow from pain.
Just waiting it out too was tough for me. It didn't end well with Asad and he obviously moved on to Sarah, so I was just sitting in there thinking: When is the next bombshell coming? and to be mentally strong for that and pushing through the rejection.
I think a lot of people would just have left and had said "I'm out of here" but I pushed through and I'm proud of how I handled that.
Does the power dynamic shift when there are suddenly more men in the villa, or when there are more women in the villa? Does the other gender side feel more vulnerable and act differently when the numbers advantage is reversed?
Erin Japhta: That's a great question. Oh, you see it, you see it immediately.
I could see when the boys were in power they started strategising, they started seeing "oh wait, I can use this person, I can use that person. I have options and now let me explore them".
Then, when they're in the "subordinate" position, they are the ones who are scrambling. The girls too - when we were in the vulnerable position I just trusted in the process and thought that it is what it is.
It's very interesting to see how people react to being vulnerable and it's very evident.
You could see in the second last episode [before I left] people were scrambling and people who just accepted what was going to happen. I definitely think you can see the power shifts.
Did it feel weird climbing into the same bed on the first night as Islanders with someone you don't really know?
Erin Japhta: One hundred percent.
I feel like, one, you're being put into a villa with strangers, but then it's another thing to be put in a bed with a stranger that you've just met. I think I had put a pillow in the bed between Asad and me. I went: "No, no, no, no."
As long as you know where boundaries are made - I'm someone who needs to feel comfortable.
Definitely, it was unsettling but as it went on, by the second night everyone just got used to it and thought that this is just going to be our lives for the next few weeks, just get used to it. So it didn't take long for everyone to settle in.
Erin Japhta: Well, my number one girl is Thimna, we had such an amazing friendship.
Viewers didn't really get to see much of it.
We had such dope, amazing, deep conversations.
We were sobbing with each other so many times and we had such great conversations.
Every time I was down I went to her. She gave me this little friendship ring.
Our energies just connected and she was like "home" to me in the villa.
So I will be friends for life with that girl. She's upstanding, amazing and beautiful and it absolutely shines through on TV.
Everyone else - I think I was very civil. I didn't get into drama, I didn't and get into all that and whoever decided that they wanted to, that was their own decision.
I will be civil with everyone. I will be friends with everyone in the villa. I don't think it's healthy to hold grudges.
I said when I left that I'm not going to hold grudges, it's not who I am. Everyone deserves to have a second chance and it's tough in there. If you choose to gossip and you choose to backstab, that's on you, and that's fine - I'm not going to hold it against you. It's the way they decided to play the game.
What's next for Erin and her jacket?
Erin Japhta: I'm still in university actually, I graduate in May.
Right now my focus is my marketing business degree and finishing that off strong and then going out in the big world and potentially into the marketing industry - working at an agency, and seeing what I can do with fashion.
I have really developed a passion for fashion while I was in the villa so I want to see what I can do with that and use my digital platform to see where it takes me and what opportunities I get from that. I'm looking forward to seeing what the future holds.
What would you say you didn't know and have learnt?
Erin Japhta: A big one is not living in the grey area - I think you have to be "black and white" and you need to know what you want, otherwise everything will go out the window.
I mentioned this before - pain leads to growth, not having any expectations because it's going to go completely different to what you think. You can't control things but you can control how you react in certain situations. Just be yourself, take risks, and don't get lost in the drama - that's a big one.
Love Island South Africa is on weekdays on M-Net (DStv 101) at 21:30
