DEAR DSTV, in April 2011 please invite us, the audience, for Prince William's wedding on the Royal Wedding Week channel.

Dear DStv . . .

Could we, the audience, in April 2011 please be invited to a Royal Wedding. If you say DStv channel 198 is an ''events channel'' I'm very sure that this definitely qualifies.

I know it's Christmas soon and most people are winding down, but start clearing those broadcast rights now, start looking through available TV inventory now, approach advertisers and start selling ad space now.

Just like you did so brilliantly when Carte Blanche turned 20, just like you did with your superb tribute to Princess Diana to mark the 10th anniversary of her death, I would like you to run a once-off Royal Wedding Week channel. And I'm saying . . . please.

Here is what I suggest DStv and please, please start working on it now. Give us the Royal Wedding Week channel to run on DStv 198 or DStv 199 from Friday, 22 April 2011 until Friday, 29 April 2011 ending with the global wedding broadcast of Prince William to Kate Middleton on this final day. Make the wedding broadcast preferably high definition (HD) - which it will be available in. (It will be available in 3D too, but I won't expect that much.) Have a somewhat kitchy-yet adorable channel ident you can play in-between shows. Something silky; something velva-glow (I see royal purple) just like those awesome M-Net promos used to be. And give us a little channel marker in a flowing capital ''R'' (in gold) in the corner.

Fill the Royal Wedding Week channel leading up to the royal wedding event of this century with all kinds of special programming, part series, reveal documentaries about the royal family, interviews and other shows about Prince William and the British monarchy. Repeat it in blocks. Have an awesome prime time show to anchor every one of the 7 days on the Royal Wedding Week channel. Start working now on sponsors and advertisers like Hallmark, Cardies, Twinsavers and American Swiss. If they have half a brain they'll jump at the chance. Go to British Tourism right here in South Africa and ask for a great prize like a trip to London for two. If they're clever, they'll do it in a heartbeat. They will all get a perfect built-in audience: hopeless romantics obsessed with the world's most famous royal family.

It's not difficult DStv, but you know how weddings goes. It takes months of planning. And we, the wedding guests, would dearly all want to attend this one in our collective thousands from our living rooms. Just like we did in 1981 on TV1 for Prince Charles and Princess Diana. I'm sure her majesty Queen Elizabeth II would give it her royal seal of approval.