by Rita Skeeter
The Muggle world that can't – and apparently doesn't want to – get over its fascination with the Boy Wizard who thinks he better than He Who Can't be Named, will undoubtedly find magical fascination in M-Net's Harry Potter pop-up channel that started this morning on DStv.
The channel is running on DStv channel 109 (or 9 and three-quarters for those with finely tuned abilities).
All true wizards know that Muggles and mudbloods – who continue to live in blissful ignorance of true magic and its powers – are enamoured with our world.
While they can't really access it, and although word has leaked to some about the Hogwarts school of magic (the Ministry of Magic is investigating the leak, rumoured to come from that despicable Weasley family), Muggles will have to do with the magic delivered by M-Net on the Harry Potter channel from today until 13 November.
The Daily Prophet has it on good authority that Muggles can indulge in 8 so-called autobiographical films about The Boy Who Lived – although many in the magic realm question a lot of the depictions in the so-called films, that they say are inaccurate and was apparently unduly influenced by Albus Dumbledore, abusing his position as head master of Hogwarts.
Human viewers – only able to stare at what they call "TV sets" – a crude form of staring into the pensieve, can watch all of the Harry Potter films, two of which are the extended editions: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
The channel is loaded with more specials than the old menu of The Leaky Cauldron that will give starers a glimpse into the world of Harry Potter with “A Making of” and other special programmes.
The Boy Who Lived will undoubtedly indulge his shameless fame-seeking further through the TV special 50 Greatest Harry Potter Moments, another crude attempt at fame mongering that's purportedly the work of shrill so-called "best friend" Hermione Granger.
While human viewers will clearly watch, it's destined to be another shoddy wizard world flop.
As if the child who allegedly battled He Who Can't be Named and lived hasn't done enough damage with his rumour-mongering and ongoing disruptions at Hogwarts (word is he's this close to getting dispelled for unruly behaviour), wizards need to take note and write the Ministry of Magic about the latest upcoming travesty.
Yet another Harry Potter film is coming to the Muggle world, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them which is why M-Net is doing the Harry Potter pop-up channel.
Severus Snape was asked for comment but didn't respond to The Daily Prophet’s repeated attempts to get comment on this shocking unleashing of more M-Net magic on the Muggle world and the damage it's going to do.