Not even a DStv PVR or DStv Explora is going to help you cope with this - you'll need multiple DStv Explora decoders for the absolute avalanche of TV "homework" happening tomorrow, Thursday 10 September on South African television.
I'm trying to think when last I had to juggle keeping up with, and watching so many shows on one night, which will happen again on Thursday evening. Even if you try and set all the recordings, your technology is going to protest and refuse.
So, difficult choices - which is great! - and a lot of things to watch!
Here's your plethora of Thursday 10 September wanna-watch stuff:
If you haven't watched the first season, start watching now - the drama series is great.
Someone is placed on suspension (following the season finale's drama), a new surgeon joins and someone steps down.
Chris Jaftha is doing as the latest new presenter joining the local glamorous entertainment magazine show with his first insert at the Durban Fashion Fair.
Top Billing calls Chris Jaftha a "super stud" but no, he won't be schmodeling at the Fashion Fair himself, but knowing the Top Billing producers' penchant for having the presenters bare their man flesh it probably won't be too long before viewers see this six pack on their screens.
a clip-show celebrating her best and funniest moments one year after her untimely passing.
You will laugh. A lot. See Joan Rivers' bloopers and funniest moments, as well as hilarious interactions with some guests over the years on E!'s Fashion Police, as well as a lot of bleeping when Joan uses her "favourite words" (which can't be said on television.
the brand-new profile series interviewing local South African personalities.
The first E! News Special is supposed to be on Thursday at 20:00 - although it isn't showing at all on E! and DStv's channel schedule and also not on DStv's electronic programme guide (EPG), so it's not recordable and people won't know it will be on.
Bonang Matheba will be the first profile episode in this show produced by Brainstorm.
Colin McLeod‚ the managing director for emerging markets at NBC Universal International Networks last month said E! is "confident that the profiles of local celebrities will resonate well with our audience" and that the brand-new show will help to make "E! the TV destination for the pop of African culture".
You'd think A+E Networks UK would make a much bigger fuss about this and actually let people know about it more, but at least now you know.
While BBC Brit (DStv 120) is suddenly showing shockingly old reruns of Top Gear (the second season of years and years ago) after that show's self-destruction earlier this year, Fifth Gear is brand-new.
But on Thursday at 20:30 (yes, I'm not kidding) you can watch the first episode of the worthwile heydey local drama John Ross - An African Adventure - the first rebroadcast in many, many years.
In David Lister's highly acclaimed youth series first shown on TV1 in 1987, the British teenager (played by Darrel Robertson) is washed ashore in October 1825 off the coast of Zululand, and is escorted by a small band of Zulu tribesmen as John Ross sets out on foot from Durban to Delagoa Bay. It has 13 episodes.
Order 66 of course is the secret order that was given by Senator Palpatine, who becomes/is the evil Emperor, for the Stormtroopers to assassinate all the Jedi in Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.
It's a really painful event and moment in the Star Wars narrative, and the fascinating Behind the Scenes featurette gives more background and an explainer of Order 66, what was shown - and not shown but created - for the movie.