by Thinus Ferreira
On a surface-level, the shocking divorce announcement of South African rugby star Siya Kolisi and his wife Rachel appears to be just like all the other celebrity types going through a break-up or announcements of death, but this one is quite different - in a better way.
Here is what you don't realise you're reading in that sad white-lettered Insta black block.
When Springbok rugby star Siya Kolisi and his wife Rachel on Tuesday in a monochrome sans serif type Insta post blasted out that they're getting divorced, the 6-sentence public notification seemed, on the surface, like all the other obligatory "bad news" announcements that famous people "growing in different directions" make.
Add to this same Whatsapp group the patronising death confirmations of celebrities which their PR reps and the family members of the famously-deceased so often make, suddenly pleading for privacy after extravagant fairytale lives lived in the public eye.
But wait. Something is missing from Siya and Rachel's divorce announcement - a word that often makes the media roll their eyes in newsrooms and which is anyway forever ignored by journalists, the news media and the adoring public alike: The word "privacy".
Instead, in Siya and Rachel's divorce trenody, another word in the place of privacy pops up. In fact, if you read carefully, you'll spot it twice: Respect.
First things first: Instead of tabloid press or entertainment news sniffing out the celeb couple's divorce news or unhappy marriage, the Kolisi pair got ahead of the news and announced their separation on their terms and first.
There will now never be a google-indexed story or a wayback machine article noting "This or that publication heard that Siya and Rachel are getting divorced but when asked they haven't responded at the time of publication to media queries".
They told us. And First. They announced their news, to us, the adoring public, in the way that Catherine, Princess of Wales, earlier this year announced that she was diagnosed with cancer, or Celine Dion announced her stiff-person syndrome diagnosis: On their terms, and their news to tell, framed with thought and precision.
Strikingly, positively, it's very noteworthy what Siya and Rachel are Not asking for: Privacy.
Read carefully: They're kindly asking for ... respect.
Their first paragraph starts with "We", and their last paragraph also starts with "We", while the middle paragraph contains the word "us". Both the first and second paragraphs end with the word "us".
They're getting divorced but they're presenting unity - at least outwardly.
Their divorce message is also not one of pleading to be left alone - that they became rich and famous and showed us their Top Billing wedding but now want to hide and be left alone.
They're in fact saying thank you: Thanking us for the attention, the love, the support and understanding. They're going through a divorce but they get that we as the public and we as the media can't and won't just suddenly switch off the attention they've courted for years.
They're signalling that they're fine with continued attention - they're just asking for "respect" (not privacy!) in this next transition of their lives.
Many of the death, disease, unexpectedly bad news and shocking announcements from within the industrial celebrity complex these days are seemingly haphazardly done, rush-job sentences penned by A-listers or the people around them who pay scant attention to how properly formulate it for those who will have to absorb it and then quickly plastered across social media.
Siya and Rachel's divorce announcement in an Insta age, despite its shock value, however feels adult and like real words uttered by proper grown-ups who thought about what to say, and more importantly, how they want to say it.
It comes across as thoughtful and with every word carefully crafted. It's clearly designed to try and shape a quite different perception than the usual "We're confirming bad news because we must, we are famous, but now we want to be left alone and are running away from all of you".
Like a teacher giving a comprehension test lesson, count the use of plural within their painful message announcing that two people are breaking up and becoming single: "We, couple, friends, children".
They're signalling that they will remain in a sense together (they actually say so in words - "We will continue to work together on the Foundation" - and that their relationship as a couple is changing, not ending).
Importantly, they're not pushing us as public, media and fans away and shutting us out. They clearly get that we are interested and remain interested in their lives.
Siya and Rachel are saying they're grateful for our understanding, but also understand the position they're in with US: That it's been them together and now apart, but that the relationship between "them" and "us" as the public remains and will continue.
It's refreshing - if you can use a word like this when people are getting divorced - that famous South Africans are not jumping to the word "privacy" and that Siya and Rachel are deliberately steering clear of this hackneyed word (which is meaningless and won't be adhered to anyway) in a bad news announcement.
Quick quiz: What word appears the most in Siya and Rachel's divorce announcement? It's the word "love".
"Love" appears in each of the first, second and third paragraphs, as well as the valediction right at the end: "With gratitude and love,".
While the public and media will remain intensely interested in Siya and Rachel's unfolding divorce story - and while there will be no privacy and continued attention as they go through something awful that millions of people and families deal with - how can we not also give Rachel and Siya the only thing they're asking from us?
Just love. And respect.
